Prompt – Grievances and Gratitude

Why when I finally know what it’s like to love, laugh, share and be happy like never before,  does it get taken away? Someone who did nothing but give to others does not deserve to have his life cut short when there was so much more he would have given willingly just as he always did. So many lives have been affected by him leaving and it isn’t right or fair.

Don’t tell me that everything will be OK  in time because it won’t be. My OK was waking up beside him every morning, falling asleep in his arms every night and sharing all our hopes and fears. Without him, how the hell will things be OK?  Answer me that!!
Don’t tell me that you know how I feel if you haven’t lost the love of your life and been plunged into darkness,  loneliness and despair because the one person who knows you better than you know yourself is never coming back. Don’t you dare!
Don’t tell me you will always be there for me and you will be there anytime I need you and then not be.
Do NOT dare tell me that my husband told you something when he wasn’t able to just to ease your own guilt. I have enough shit to plough through.
Don’t pretend to care when all you really want to do is make it about you.

On the flip side as ever because there is anger and pain it is always because the love and happiness is so intense. I am grateful for so many things my Dave brought to my life as he made me so damn happy and made me a better person.  I have a feeling this writing will elaborate on that in the future somehow.
My family as always are solid, amazing and helped keep me strong when I needed to be but gave me the support without question when  I needed to crumble.
I am grateful for the kindness, love, understanding and compassion that his family gave me during the most horrendous time of my life. To be able to count on some people and for them not to let you down means the world and I couldn’t have asked for more. The closeness we share doesn’t need blood ties to make them feel as much as my family as my own do.
I am grateful to the staff of the hospital where he was treated for two years for their dedication, time, honesty and support in all they did to give me and Dave more time to make amazing memories. Thank you.

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