26 weeks/21 years

26 weeks. 182 days. 6 months. Half a year. Whichever way you say it, it feels like a lifetime on one hand but then like yesterday on another.

26 weeks ago tonight was mine and Dave’s last night on this earth together. 26 weeks ago tomorrow was our last day. I remember that night so clearly. I was lying next to him on my makeshift bed of 3 chairs put together with a few pillows on top and clinging onto him so I didn’t slip in between them. A sight I knew he would laugh about if he was able to and something that I joked about when I was talking away to him. It was important to talk to him. I didn’t want to him to ever feel alone and I wanted him to hear, feel and see how much I loved him to the very last second. I played our favourite playlist to him which included our wedding song, his trademark James song and others that had meant something to us at one time or another during our all too short years together. I talked to him about strong he had been and how proud I was of how he had dealt with everything and lastly about how tired he now was. I whispered to him that if he was ready, he should let go. 26 weeks ago tomorrow, he did let go, with all his family around to surround him with love whilst we said goodbye.

21 years ago tomorrow, my beautiful daughter was born. Again it feels like a lifetime ago but it isn’t. She has grown into an amazing young woman and I am very proud of who she is, what she has achieved and what she will become. Tomorrow we are having a party o celebrate this wonderful milestone, surrounded by the most amazing family and friends,

It’s another bittersweet day because when me and Dave started booking rooms and DJs in January, we didn’t contemplate that he wouldn’t be here. He will be so missed.

26 weeks / 21 years. Yin and Yang. Sad and Happy. What a rollercoaster.

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